Building a Positive, Trusting and Transparent Relationship with Your Child – Part 1

Let’s face it.

Being a parent is tough.

As much as we want it, there is no diploma or degree in ‘parenting’ that could prepare us for this journey of a lifetime. Everyone learns the same way – we learn as we grow, and we grow as we learn.

Bringing this back to the heart of the matter – we all aspire to build a close-knit, intimate, positive and trusting relationship with our children. And as parents, we have the ability to shape the course of our relationship with them. Undoubtedly, this starts right from the moment the child is conceived in the mother’s womb. The internal dynamics the child has with the parent, combined with external environmental factors play a vital role in influencing the parent-child relationship.

In order to build that close, positive and transparent relationship, in this series we will cover the essential factors to consider when interacting with our children. For now, let’s start off with Part One of this three-part series.

Availability

As life gets busier, most of us try to move through life wearing multiple hats and trying to juggle various responsibilities at the same time.  Even so, we have to remember that your child only has about 900 weeks of childhood with you before they grow up. According to Dr. Rotbart, the author of “No Regrets Parenting”, from the day your child is born to the time he or she turns 18, you get 940 Saturdays, and 260 of them are gone by the time they hit their 5^th birthday.

However, Dr. Rotbart’s parenting advice doesn’t fall into the usual carpe diem trap where parents are asked to seize the moment and enjoy every passing minute without considering that some days can seem excruciating long. This is especially true when you have a crying baby in one arm, while another toddler spills his cereals over, and it’s almost impossible to shake off the seemingly endless list of to-dos at the back of your mind.

But take heart. Dr. Rotbart believes that while some days may seem longer than the others, the years are short as time goes by quickly from the larger scale of things. Bringing this back to now – we’re already in November! Soon the malls will be playing ‘Jingle Bells’ and welcoming the New Year with ‘Back-to-School’ sales.

So here’s the take-home message – Be an active parent in your child’s life. When you’re with them, don’t be there half-present, but be there 100%.

Put your phones away, place that call later and replace that with holding your child’s hands or carry them in your arms. Talk to them eye-to-eye, share a laughter (or wipe those tears away if they had a rough day), and lend your listening ears to how their day went when you were away at work. Your time and attention means more to them than anything else in the world!

Pic: Alzy sharing with his family on the importance of being present

So remember, time passes by quickly and before you know it – our little ones are not-so little anymore. So mums and dads out there, don’t forget to hold your little ones tonight and spend some quality time together. The relationship dynamics we build with our children from young determines the course of their lifetime with us.

940 Saturdays. And one of them is this weekend.

How are you spending it?

 

By Serene T. 

Reference List

10 Habits to Strengthen a Parent-Child Relationship. (2018). Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/peaceful-parents-happy-kids/201706/10-habits-strengthen-parent-child-relationship

Dell’Antonia, K. (2018). Childhood: 940 Saturdays, and You’re Done. Retrieved from https://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/03/16/childhood-940-saturdays-and-youre-done/

Rotbart, H. (2012). No Regrets Parenting. Kansas City, Mo.: Andrews McMeel Pub.

Memes 1 to 3 made with Imgflip.com meme generator.

Picture of Alzy and family taken from Q-dees Starters IQ Lit Programme (Module 10 – I am in Hot Soup)

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Having jitters about your child being left out in school? Now you may put your mind at ease! At Q-dees, our teachers are with your child every step of the way. We place importance on your child’s learning by making sure their progress is closely monitored with our Individual Child Monitoring System (ICMS) – ensuring that no child gets left behind.

So wait no more, and don’t miss out on this opportunity for your child to experience a safe, secure and inclusive learning environment! Visit us at www.www.q-dees.com to find out more about our comprehensive programmes or call us at 1700-81-5077 to find a friendly centre near you!