Parents are the only ones who show unconditional and enduring love. Regardless of children’s age, parents will always be the eternal well-wishers of them.
Parents have discrete ways to raise children as each child has unique characteristics. For instance, parents who prioritize a peaceful place for sensitive children and fun children are often given the freedom to explore their creativity and ideas.
Finding the sweet spot between authoritative and non-controlling parenting styles is vital because adapting fully to just one of these styles could potentially affect the children mentally.
Raising children can be frustrating and challenging, especially when you are a single parent during this COVID-19 pandemic. This article aims to lay out some heartfelt advice that would ease parenting.
So, What Are Some Good Parenting Skills?
- Assigning responsibilities at home
Doing simple chores at home boosts children’s independence and confidence. Appoint your child to help you rinse vegetables, dry clothes, set up the dining table before dinner, and arrange their toys because these simple routines are crucial for their development.
Once they are used to doing these routines, they can act independently without your telling them what to do next. This independence prepares them to face the real world and boosts their competence to be spontaneous.
- Providing unconditional love
Utterly, you do love your children. Show affection and embrace them by simply hugging, stroking their hair, and supporting their passion to make them feel loved and secured.
Be your child’s biggest fan by not only supporting their passion but also giving them the avenue to polish their skills and talents. For example, bring your child to dance classes or competitions if they enjoy dancing.
- Setting rules and boundaries
Discipline is crucial in setting rules and boundaries. The key to educating your child on what is right and wrong is being consistent with your yeses and no-nos.
For example, be firm with your decisions to cut off-screen time past 8 p.m. That means, no gadgets too not even for reading. Instead, encourage your child to pick up physical books or do their school revision.
- Communicating and listening
It is undeniable that children learn from watching and listening to and mimicking their parents’ actions and words. When you spend time with children, try to understand what they go through every day, what they fear, what disturbs them the most, and so on.
Ask questions such as “How was your day at school?” and “Did you enjoy the dish that I cooked?” to initiate a conversation.
During the interaction, make eye contact, use active body language like nodding your head for agreement and be attentive. Make eye contact and engage as much as possible to reflect on what they are saying.
Asking them follow-up questions to how school was such as what did they learn in school and did they have fun with their friends.
In other words, mirror them.
By paying full attention to your child, you show that you take their best interests to heart, which in turn encourages your child to be more expressive in the future.
- Teaching them to embrace the challenges
Children should learn how to embrace challenges as challenges are part and parcel of life. That said, teaching them this requires a lot of tact, understanding, and patience. Start by reminding them that failure is not the end and that if at first, they do not succeed, they should try again and not give up.
Then, get them to assess the challenges at hand so that they can improve the next time they tackle these challenges. For example, if children fail and get hurt at the first attempt at cycling, let them know what went wrong and demonstrate how to do so.
All of this helps your child to become aware of what lies ahead of challenges. In return, they will try something new and laborious with a positive mindset.
How Does Good Parenting Affect Children?
- Stronger parent-child relationship
Good parenting develops mutual trust between children and parents because of positive interaction. Forming a healthy relationship is a stepping stone to make your children more approachable and comfortable around you.
Some children do bottle up their feelings, opinions and struggles. When there is a space with open communication, they will eventually reach out to get help and strike a conversation, no matter how pleased or heartbroken they are.
- Better social and academic skills
Parents’ interference and involvement create children who do better in every aspect of life. Parents in this phase bring the best out of their children by identifying the children’s weaknesses and strengths.
A few characteristics of good parenting include providing extra coaching, keeping track of improvements, and encouraging appropriate gestures and language.
Through this children would know how to interact in different contexts and enhance themselves with the knowledge they have gained.
- Less space for negative behaviours
Punishments do not always work and so does being harsh to children. Good parenting lets parents pay attention to a positive-focused behavioural management approach. Parents mention the behaviour they expect from the children.
Children learn best when they make mistakes. However, we wouldn’t want them to make all the mistakes in the world, to figure out what is right or wrong.
How we can work around that is to avoid situations that could inevitably cause them mistakes.
If a child is having a plate full of food, it would be better if we tasked them to carry food that is solid or finger food. That way they learn up the skill and the mistake is easier to clean up. As compared to a bowl of hot soup, the former is an easier task.
This eliminates the negative attitude that should not be practised.
Bad Parenting Examples To Avoid
- Consuming alcohol and smoking
Children follow the footsteps of parents thinking that those are the right things to do.
Consuming alcohol and smoking in their presence will influence them to behave accordingly. Expect children to argue on why they are forbidden while their parents are allowed.
Besides, children are prone to respiratory issues, sudden infant death syndrome, cancers and heart diseases when exposed to secondhand smoke (SHS).
- Practising rigid discipline
According to a study, children growing up with parents who belong to the authoritarian parenting style (too strict, dictatorial command, highly demanding) are associated with low self-esteem.
Therefore, in a misinterpretation, they are likely to blame others and refuse to admit their wrongdoings.
The love for their parents is replaced with fear. Children growing up in this scenario are usually aggressive, socially inept and indecisive. In cases like this, parents should be lenient without trying to gain blind conformity.
- Comparing children with others
Stop comparing your children because it only increases their anxiety and stress. Precisely, when they are compared with children performing well academically, it tenses them up to live to your expectations.
It craves a path for unhealthy competition with hatred and jealousy. Subsequently, this might deteriorate their performances – academically and socially – to a greater extent.
Self-doubting and misbelieving they are not suitable for anything is a clear-cut impact here. If this prolongs, their hidden talents will not be perceived.
Parents are the best teachers as everything starts from home. Children need all five components of nurturing care – children health, nutrition, safety and security, early learning and responsive care to flourish into successful members of society.
Knowing your style of parenting helps you to be a better parent. Sometimes, you might feel guilty for not fulfilling every need of your child but bear in mind that you are learning to juggle between your career and family.
Perhaps, to gain additional knowledge about parenting, consider joining a parenting programme in Malaysia.